The Day I Lost My Daughter

 

In light of the recent gorilla uproar and public shaming that has ensued, I want to share my story.

7 years ago, I would have been the person in your news feed sharing articles that shamed the boy's mother.  Ones that said the gorilla was doing a better job protecting the child than she was.  Ones encouraging moms to put down their cell phones and parent their kids.  I was a sancti-mommy before I was even a mommy.

But last week, I lost my daughter.

We were in a convention center attending a high school graduation.  One moment my not-quite-two-year-old was standing by my mother, the next she was gone.  It was like a scene from a movie.

And do you want to know the very first thought that ran through my mind??

"Oh, my God.  I'm going to be on the news.  They'll tear me apart."

I was terrified.  All of a sudden my legs weighed 2000 pounds each.  Panic welled in my throat.  I took off in one direction and my mother took off in the other, each frantically looking and calling her name.

We found her in less than a minute, but let me tell you- that was the absolute longest minute of my life.  And, it was in that minute, that I realized how quickly life could change.

So please, stop the shaming.  The judging.  The mean comments and eye rolls.  They aren't helpful.  

Instead, reach out.  A kind word.  A kind look.  A smile, a nod.  Grace.  Understanding.  These are the things that make a difference in this world and they just so happen to be the things we need more of.

Spotlight On Rabbi Mike of Easy Circumcision

  

Circumcision.

No doubt a touchy subject, but it's a conversation that usually happens with each of my clients at some point.  We discuss it in Your Best Birth Class™ and we watch a teaching video as well. Information is power, after all. There are many reasons one might or might not choose circumcision for their son, but this isn't the blog for that.

Instead, what I'd like to do here is shine a much deserving spotlight on Rabbi Mike Rovinsky.

Rabbi Mike, as he is known, is a certified Mohel and has been practicing since 1988. He has performed over 13,500 circumcisions and has additional training from Johns Hopkins Children's Hospital in dealing with unusual and more complex circumcisions. The man is fantastic at what he does.


  

 

Recently, I was invited by a client to attend the circumcision of her son and I graciously accepted.  Not only was I thrilled to be able to support her and her family but I was curious and excited to see the process first hand. Afterward, we visited about her experience.

1.  Why did you choose Rabbi Mike?

Rabbi Mike's name had come up several times in my prenatal visits and everyone talked about him with such great respect, and word of mouth recommendations mean a lot to me.  I decided to look up his website and after reading up on his vast experience and how the procedure is done, I felt completely comfortable scheduling with him.  My pediatrician backed my decision 100%.  She would have referred me out to a circumcision clinic, but after hearing about what I had researched and learned about Rabbi Mike she said that I likely made the right decision for my family and situation.

In addition, at the circumcision clinic it would have been one patient right after the other.  The amount of time for any local anesthetic to set in with that type of situation is likely not ideal, and Rabbi Mike's method calls for very little need for anesthesia.  It would only take 20-30 seconds, whereas the clinic would need at least 20-30 min for the procedure.

When I ultimately called to schedule the visit, Rabbi Mike himself answered the phone and was so nice.  He confirmed with us the week before and made sure we knew where to go and when to be there.  That personal attention was shocking (especially in this day and age), but was so comforting.  All of these small details added up to us choosing Rabbi Mike.

2.  How do you feel about your experience using Rabbi Mike?

I was nervous about traveling out to Dallas to have the procedure done, but rightly so...as any parent of a newborn would be.  Although we were one among many that day, I felt comfortable with the procedure since I had already done so much research and Rabbi Mike made sure that everyone was well taken care of.  I pretty much knew what to expect, but Rabbi Mike talked us through each part.  My doula was with me (for moral support) and he had her hold the baby's legs. That was such a huge relief because I had already been through a tongue tie revision where I had to hold my newborn while his lip and tongue were being lasered.  I appreciated the break.

He had an intern with him observing the procedure and even had him participate in the beginning.  He asked for permission before he did anything with the baby.  The procedure was very quick.  Rabbi Mike kept a bit of humor through the whole thing which lightened the mood.  Although I may not have caught all of his jokes and puns (he laughed about giving us "tips" before we left), I appreciated that he was helping us to release some stress!

Although the baby cried when his arms were swaddled, he immediately stopped crying after the procedure when Rabbi Mike let his arms loose and handed him to me to hold.  That made me feel so much better! I knew he wasn't in extreme pain. Recovery was super quick, completely healed within ~4 days and baby wasn't fussy like with my other 2 boys.

"I'm so happy that we made this decision and went a bit more non-traditional (as in, not what would happen at the hospital) for this baby.  It's so great to know that there are so many options for things like this that many parents wouldn't even think about!"

 

 

 

 

My Thoughts on the Experience

1. It was so, so different that what I expected.  To be honest, I'm not quite sure what I expected walking in... but what I experienced was a good surprise.  Rabbi Mike is such a genuinely nice- and funny- guy!  It is obvious that he cares about each family he encounters and each baby is treated with such respect.

2. It was so, so quick!  The procedure is incredibly quick- literally 30 seconds or less, even, from start to finish and there was very little blood.  It is obvious that Rabbi Mike is very skilled at what he does.

3. The baby reacted very differently than I expected.  I was hardening myself for wailing; the gut-wrenching type that makes your heart break into a million pieces.  But, it just didn't happen.  I was holding the baby's legs so I had a front row seat but the baby let out a small cry and that was it.  It was over before I realized what was happening and baby went immediately to its mother and that was that.

For more information on Rabbi Mike Rovinsky, give him a call at 314-863-6986 or find him at www.easycircumcision.com

Doula Barb Dishes: Vegetarian Butternut Squash Chipotle Chili

 

Vegetarian Butternut Squash Chipotle Chili

This one was a HUGE hit around my house- enjoy!

Prep time: 20 minutes

Cook time: 1 hour

4 servings

Ingredients:

• 2 tbsp. olive oil
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 2 red bell peppers, chopped
• 1 small butternut squash, peeled and chopped into 1/2" cubes
• 4 garlic cloves, minced (I added more because, well, garlic)
• 1 tbsp chili powder
• 1/2 tbsp chopped chipotle pepper in adobo (I doubled this but watch out- it has a kick)
• 1 tsp ground cumin (I added a bit more because, well, cumin)
• 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
• 2 cans (15oz) black beans, rinsed and drained
• 1 can (14oz) diced tomatoes, un-drained
• 2 cups vegetable broth

Optional:

Avocados, tortilla chips, fresh cilantro 

Instructions

1. In a Dutch oven or large stockpot, saute onion bell pepper and butternut squash in olive oil until onions are translucent.
2. Turn down the heat to medium-low and add the garlic, spices and chipotle peppers.  Combine and cook until blended.  Add black beans, tomatoes, and broth.
3. Cover and cook for an hour, stirring occasionally.  Taste about halfway through to see if you'd like to add more chipotle peppers.
4. Dish is done when squash is tender and liquid has reduced a bit.

Bonus:  I'm betting you could do this up in a crock pot, too.  If it were me, I'd probably dump everything in, stir to combine and turn it to low for 8 hours. 

National Nurses Week 2016

To celebrate National Nurses Week, I'd like to take a moment to give a huge, loving shout-out to all the wonderful nurses I've had the honor and privilege of knowing and working with.

This beautiful moment was captured by Smiling at You Photography at a birth I attended recently with Grace OBGYN & Midwifery at Texas Health Harris Southwest hospital.  This little one and her family was treated with so much love and respect and it was truly a joy to behold.

Here's to all the nurses out there; without your love and support, birth just wouldn't be the same.

Top 5 Baby Items I Can't Live Without

 

 

As a doula, I get asked to look at nurseries a lot.  And, I LOVE it!  I mean, who wouldn't love getting to peek at all those gorgeous rooms arranged just so?

But here's the thing- you probably don't need all that stuff.  And thangs.

To help out your bank account now, and sanity later, I've put together a list of the Top 5 Baby Items I Can't Live Without.  

5. White Noise Machine

This is something that we used for both kiddos.  It helps keep your sweet little one from startling awake by drowning out background noise- think doorbells, dogs barking, etc.  I like this one and we've been using it since Lola was born.  When she was tiny, we would turn it one before we took her in to put her down for naps and bedtime.  Now, she gets to turn it on at night before bed.







 

4. A Diaper Pail

Newsflash- diapers smell.  Really bad. With my first, I used disposable diaers and my friend was kind enough to loan me a Diaper Champ and it was awesome.  It holds up to 30 or so diapers, uses regular kitchen trashbags, and does a really good job controlling smell.  Bonus- it's kiddie proof (meaning they can't reach in and pull out "goodies").  With my second, I chose to cloth diaper so I went with a Diaper Dekor.  While it doesn't do as great of a job containing smells, it works MUCH better than other methods I researched for cloth (a bucket in the bathroom?  No thanks.)  It has a flip top lid, a lock button to keep the toddlers at bay and it came with 2 wet bag liners so I could dump the whole bag into the wash- win!

3. A Pack-n-Play or Other Type of Play Yard

Here's a link to one that I love.  It has a reversible napper and changer (oooh, fancy) and the height is adjustable, meaning the bottom pad can be placed higher up so you don't have to bend your postpartum self all the way over when placing baby down.  I have literally gotten years of use out of mine.  My Graco lasted through both kiddos (6+ years and going strong) and has served as a place to sleep and change diapers for my newborns, a place to play safely as a toddler and even as a portable crib for overnight trips.  Definitely money well spent!






 

2. A Swing

Get this- I refused to use a swing with my first!  I was scared my son would become "dependent" on the swing and then not be able to sleep anywhere else.  Then, I had my second.  By this time, I couldn't care less if Lola needed the swing to sleep- I was just interested in her sleeping!  And, I had read The Happiest Baby on the Block, so I knew Swinging was one of the 5 S recommendations.  You better believe I used a swing this time around!  And you know what?  It worked.  And guess what else?  Lola used it for about 2 months, outgrew the need and that was that.  This swing is popular with my clients but I used a (borrowed) Graco swing and it worked beautifully.

1. A Good Carrier or Wrap (or both)

So, with my first, I had only recently heard of baby wearing and the only carrier I'd heard of was a Bjorn.  I tried it once but it was incredibly uncomfortable so I never tried it again.  Fast forward 4 years and my, how things had changed!  I knew all about baby wearing and to be honest, was a bit overwhelmed with all of the options (an opinions) out there.  I tried several different carriers and settled on a gauze wrap for my newborn (July in Texas + postpartum hormones + baby furnace = HOT) and a Boba.  I loved them both for different reasons.

The gauze wrap was great because it gave me awesome versatility and security without being wrapped in what felt like a blanket.  Loreal, the owner of Hand Dyed Baby Wraps, helped me pick out the right size and showed me how to wrap like a pro and I will be forever grateful!  Once Lola got a little bigger, I switched over to my Boba and fell in love all over again.  I could pick her up, strap her in, and GO!  No more wrapping in the parking lot or trying to adjust my rails- it was great!  She is 21 months now and still gets excited when I get the Boba out.

 

 

 

Well, there you have it!  No fancy wipe warmers, car seat covers or other gadgets you'll never use.  Remember, your sweet little one needs very few things: food, warmth, and love.  And, it just so happens YOU can provide all of those things!  Hug those babies tight and just breathe.  You've got this!

 

Tell me, what would you add to this list? Let me know in the comments section below!

Spotlight on Inner Light Chiropractic, Fort Worth Chiropractor Terry Garcia

Terry Garcia, DC and her husband Mark Scott, DC, both Webster Certified chiropractors aren't new to Fort Worth but they did just move to their new, beautiful location at 1616 5th Ave. in Fort Worth and it couldn't be more comfortable and inviting!

Terry first became interested in chiropractic care when she began working for a chiropractor after college.  At that time, she had no idea about alternative healthcare options.  Working there "opened me up to a whole new world," said Dr. Terry.

Now, through her practice at Inner Light Chiropractic, she works to empower women and moms in their journey.  Terry knows that as parents, we all want healthy, thriving kids and she and her husband work to ensure that their patients know all of their options. "All of these issues that parents think are common and normal but really aren't... it's amazing what a difference it makes for a child to have an open and clear nervous system and what an impact that has on their health!" shared Dr. Terry.

According to Dr. Terry, "New clients can expect two initial appointments.  The first is all about getting to know you.  Not just taking medical history but also learning about your goals, your birthing wishes, your lifestyle.  We also do a series of nervous system scans to help us gain more insight into how your body and nervous system is functioning.  It allows us, with our physical evaluation, to put together a care plan.  The second visit is going over scans and sitting down with them and helping them to see where they are at and discussing more about their goals and where they would like to be.  It is our goal to help our clients make lifelong change."

I just love Dr. Terry because her passion for her clients is apparent- she truly cares that women feel supported and empowered and she is working to create a community through her practice.  A patient can come to Inner Light and find like-minded, holistic resources- pediatricians, doulas, dentists and more.

"The biggest thing I want for people in our practice to take away is a sense of wholeness, that our bodies have the capability of healing... there is perfection within each of us and sometimes we need to remove the interference that is blocking that perfection."  

 

Join Dr. Terry at Inner Light Chiropractic for bi-weekly meetings Tuesday at 7pm.  Each meeting hosts a different speaker on a topic relevant to living a holistic lifestyle.  Nursing and lap babies are welcome and the meetings are open to everyone in the community, not just the patients of her practice.

PAIN: The New 4-Letter Word

In my experience as a doula and childbirth educator, working with countless women as they navigate their pregnancy and birth experiences, I've noticed something...

 

We're afraid to say the P word.

You know the one, P-A-I-N.  Perhaps the most avoided four-letter word in childbirth classes across the country.


But, we're doing women a disservice.  Click on over to Edenway Birth Center's blog to check out my guest post on this very subject.

Pain: The New 4 Letter Word

7 Make-Ahead Dinners for Moms-to-Be

One of the absolute best things I did to prepare for birth of my daughter was to make freezer meals.  And when I say "I", I mean my husband. I did the research and planning but he did the cooking. It was a glorious sight to behold, but I'm rambling...

Anyway, to make things easier for YOU, I've compiled a list of all the recipes I used for my stash.  Before we get started, a few tips:

1. Label the freezer bags before you add the food.  Include name of dish, directions, and any extra ingredients needed to prepare the meal.
2. Lay the bags flat to freeze- it will help save you some space and help make defrosting easier. 
3. Give yourself at least 24 hours for the bags to thaw in the fridge.

Slowcooker Chicken Broccoli Alfredo
Fill a freezer bag with:
1-2 lbs boneless, skinless chicken breasts
2 jars Alfredo sauce (16oz)
1 bag frozen broccoli florets (16oz)
1 green pepper, diced
1/2 cup real bacon bits

Directions: Place thawed contents in slow cooker and cook on Low 6-8 hours or on High 4-6 hours.  Serve over pasta with Parmesan cheese, if desired.


Creamy Italian Chicken
Fill a freezer bag with:
1 1/2 lbs chicken breast, cut up into 1" pieces
1 bar of cream cheese
1 can Cream of Chicken soup*
1 packet Zesty Italian salad dressing mix
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 cups green beans, frozen or fresh

Directions: Place thawed contents in slow cooker on Low for 7-8 hours or High for 4-6 hours.  Serve chicken on top of noodles and garnish with Parmesan cheese, if desired.  Note: This was a favorite at our house, even with the picky 4 year old.

*Want to avoid canned soup? Try this swap instead:
1 tbsp flour
3 tbsp butter
1/2 c. chicken broth
1/2 c. milk
salt & pepper to taste


Crock-Pot Vegetarian Butternut Squash Chipotle Chili
Fill a freezer bag with:

1 medium onion, chopped
2 red bell peppers, chopped
1 small butternut squash, peeled and chopped into 1/2" cubes
4 garlic cloves, minced (I added more because, well, garlic)
1 tbsp chili powder
1/2 tsp chopped chipotle pepper in adobo (I doubled this but watch out, it has a kick)
1 tsp ground cumin (I added a bit more because, well, cumin)
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
2 cans (15oz) black beans, rinsed and drained
1 can (14oz) diced tomatoes, un-drained

Directions: Place thawed contents in crock pot. Add 2 c. vegetable broth. Stir to combine, cook on low 8 hours or until squash is tender and liquid has reduced a bit. Serve with avocados, tortilla chips and fresh cilantro.


Teriyaki Chicken
Fill a freezer bag with:
1 1/2 lbs chicken breasts, sliced
1/4 c. soy sauce
1/2 c. packed brown sugar
1/2 c. Teriyaki sauce
1 tbsp. sesame oil
3 carrots, sliced
1 green bell pepper, sliced
1 tsp. ginger paste
1 c. chicken broth
3 cloves garlic, minced

Directions: Place thawed contents in slow cooker and cook on Low for 7-8 hours or 4 hours on High.
Optional: To thicken sauce at the end, whisk together 1/2 c. of the cooked sauce with 2 tbsp. cornstarch and pour back in the slow cooker. Turn cooker on high for an extra 10-15 minutes so sauce can thicken. Serve over rice and garnish with sesame seeds, if desired.


Sausage with Onions & Peppers
Fill a freezer bag with:
1 16oz package sausage (we used Kielbasa)
1 onion, sliced
3 bell peppers (one green, one yellow, one red), sliced
2 cans diced tomatoes, fire roasted and not drained
1 chicken bullion cube
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp. Cajun seasoning

Directions: Place thawed contents in the slow cooker for 5-6 hours on Low or 3 hours on High.  Serve over rice.


Chinese Beef & Broccoli
Fill a freezer bag with:
2 lbs. beef, sliced (sirloin works well)
1 can beef consume (found in the soup aisle)
1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
3 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 c. soy sauce
1 tsp. ginger paste
1 tbsp. sesame oil
2 c. fresh or frozen broccoli (separate into a smaller bag)

Directions: Place thawed contents in slow cooker on Low 7-8 hours or High for 4 hours.  Add the broccoli 30 minutes before cooking is complete.
Optional: To thicken sauce at the end, whisk together 1/2 cup of the cooked sauce with 2 tbsp cornstarch and pour back in the slow cooker.  Turn cooker on high for an extra 10-15 minutes so sauce can thicken.  Serve beef and broccoli on top of rice and garnish with chopped green onion, if desired.


Enchilada Pasta Casserole
Ingredients:
1 lb. ground beef
1/2 tsp. chili powder
1/4 tsp. cumin
1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper
5 oz. cream cheese
1/4 c. sour cream
1 can (10oz) enchilada sauce (I used red sauce)
1 c. shredded sharp cheddar cheese, divided
1 c. shredded Monterey jack cheese, divided
1 c. frozen corn, thawed
1 can (4oz) diced green chilies (I doubled this because we love green chilies)
12 oz. egg noodles
Salt & pepper, to taste

Directions:

1. In large pot, bring water to boil and cook noodles according to package instructions.
2. While the pasta is cooking, in a very large skillet, brown the ground beef then drain the fat.  Return to skillet and add the chili powder, cumin, and cayenne pepper.  Stir to combine.
3. Add in the cream cheese.  Stir until melted. 
4. In a large bowl, combine sour cream, enchilada sauce half the cheddar cheese, half the Monterrey Jack cheese, corn, and diced green chilies.  Stir to combine.
5. Pour mixture over the beef and let simmer for 2-3 minutes.
6. While that simmers, drain the pasta.  Then add it to the beef mixture.  Make sure everything is coated in the sauce.
7. Remove mixture from heat and allow to cool completely.
8. Put in freezer bag.

When ready to cook: Thaw completely in the fridge (allow a few days, at least). Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place noodle mixture in a large casserole dish.  Bake for 30 minutes or until dish is warmed completely. Add remaining 1/2 cup cheddar and 1/2 cup Monterrey Jack and bake until cheese is melted.

Enjoy!

Headshots & Coffee in Burleson, TX

Last week, I had the privilege of meeting up with Fort Worth photographer Charlet Shelley at Dwell Coffee + Nosh to get some new headshots done.  Not only did I get some awesome shots to use, but we had a blast!

It was my first time going to Dwell, but it definitely won't be my last!  

Such a cool little spot in Burleson, TX.  

With some very cool folks working there...

They didn't care one bit that we moved around furniture, adjusted the drapes, talked and laughed really loud...

 We worked a little, too.

   And, of course, we enjoyed some coffee and a selfie!

Thanks, Charlet, for doing such great work and making this so easy for me! If you are looking for a Fort Worth, TX family, maternity or children's fine art portrait photographer, check this lady out!